


the hate inside your head (does it overwhelm you?)

by TheBizarreHairTrio



Series: Firestorm Week 2020 [5]
Category: The Lobby
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Firestorm Week, Firestorm Week 2020, Kinda, LMAO, Light Angst, Not Beta Read, Other, also this feels clunky and i'm kinda upset about that, anyways lowkey inspired by bren's day six entry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-15
Updated: 2020-11-15
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:47:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27574016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBizarreHairTrio/pseuds/TheBizarreHairTrio
Summary: Firestorm Week 2020: Day Five - Rage
Relationships: Judas/Gerard (The Lobby)
Series: Firestorm Week 2020 [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2008498





	the hate inside your head (does it overwhelm you?)

There are times when there’s a roaring silence in their head, a deadly calm before the storm, the split second before lightning strikes, before the enemy charges, before the war cry sounds. 

“Darling,” says Gerard softly, hand on their arm, and Judas doesn’t turn, doesn’t look at him. Their eyes are trained on the figure before them, and Judas has never looked as dangerous as when they’ve been silent and still.

Sometimes, it’s terrifying. 

Sometimes, it’s like that yawning chasm has swallowed them up, the void before violence and pain and blood and despair explodes and wrecks havoc impartially. 

Sometimes, he’s scared that he won’t be enough to drag them back from that space in their head where all they want to do is unleash their fury indiscriminately.

“Judas,” he says, still soft. His hand doesn’t tighten or loosen. 

And finally, finally they turn towards him, away from the Pure One, who stands pure and untouched by the crowd surrounding them, and they look at him, eyes empty but no longer trained on the one they despise more than anything. 

Gerard smiles. It’s a shaky, uncertain thing, but it’s real and relieved as he leads them away, away from the crowd and from Judas’ vengeance. Judas follows willingly, but instead of relief, Gerard can only feel dread for the day they won’t let him lead them away from their feud, a feud he can’t hope to understand, with his memories fractured and infrequent. Gerard doesn’t understand the hatred and the rage Judas holds for this god, doesn’t know the reason behind it, and he’s not sure he wants to know, not sure he’s ready to face the reason why they have that space in their head for bloodthirsty rage and unrelenting violence. 

Judas is already hard to understand, with eons of life and memories of times Gerard’s only known through history texts and the few memories he’s inherited from his past lives. Judas is a constant in every life, but they’re a constant with secrets he can’t remember being confessed to him.

(He thinks, privately, that Judas is tired of explaining every life, only for Gerard to forget the next.)

Gerard won’t ask why Judas rages, why at times they’re nothing more than violence and bloodshed waiting to happen, but he’ll be here to pull them away from that chasm of hatred and rage before it can swallow them whole in every life, without needing to know the reason why.

Because if there’s one thing that can endure for as long as Judas’ rage, it’s his love for them. 

**Author's Note:**

> worldbuilding notes:  
> \- the pure one is some bastard fucking god who likes fucking around with people and judas and gerard are lovers who defied them  
> \- judas is immortal - meaning they will never die or age and they will endure forever  
> \- gerard isn't - he reincarnates, and every time he does so, he loses his memories and must regain them. over time he's regaining less and less recollection of his past life  
> \- the summary is the pure one is a vindictive sadistic bastard and judas is right to hate them


End file.
